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Broomball Night in America 1-18-2020


Hey Hey Hello Hello, and welcome back to another fabulous season of Half Brothers Broomball!


Exciting news awaits this week's games, reported on by new 2021 field correspondent Jelly Legs Gilbraith.


Week 1 recap:


In Monday Nord Division play, Dirty P & the Boys put up eight in welcoming league newcomer Terrible Balls right into the loser column. Archives Coffee owner Kyle Thorson provided the bulk of the team’s boops on-net, but the first-year team failed to handle Jaden “Jenga” Pesch’s re-Carlson’d Monday squad.

Jam Hoplin, Matt Ramage, and Sam Carlson each provided a steady flow of goals, putting Dirty P’s Boys atop the Monday Division standings.


In a rematch of last season’s semifinals, defending Champion Brick Squad faced a freshly uniformed Half Brothers contingent. Half Bros stormed to an early lead amidst the strength of their phenomenal new sweaters and the heady play of renowned backstop, John or Jeff Goalie. However, Brick Squad hopped on the shoulders of team captain and 2020 Most Valuable DJ Allan Zahui to remind fans why Monday’s Nord Division is being touted as the NCHC of Broomball leagues. The Barley Brigade notched a come-from-behind victory for perhaps the first time in franchise history. One thing is for sure in the Nord Division: No lead is safe, and wins will be hard to come by.


Rounding out the Monday matchups, Hub 69's hamberjammed the Heated Husk Haters by a score of 3-1 in a battle of long-time league rivals. 69’er Julissa Johnson tallied the game’s first score with a strong play in the slot, while Soy Sauce Rosendahl wasted no time in his 2021 campaign for a third-straight 1st Team All League award. Rosendahl added two goals in the Hub 69’s win.


In Wednesday night’s Gunderson Division, the league’s most impressively outfitted team in Red Pine Distillery stymied a half-hearted attack from 2020 6th Place finisher, GF is Cooler. Still coping with the loss of former team captain Austin Mack and multiple-time All-League goalie Collin SeaDaddy Hanson, GF is Cooler will be searching frantically for an identity after steadily climbing the Ladder of Mediocrity throughout the 2020 season.


In the nightcap, Tyler Wilson kicks off his team’s march toward championship redemption, going bar down and adding another goal in classic Willy fashion. The 2020 Runners-Up fought off a surprising effort from perennial league bottom-feeder Gandelson 15-11. Finding twine for the Brew Balls were Brady Wrightsman, Adam Shaugabay, Wilson, Luke Schulz, Jake Pryor, and John Huderle. Gandelson was without its co-captain Herbie “Certified Seed Potato” Blue. Look for the Sportsracers to turn a new page in their pathetic history this season.


We'll see you at this week's games. Make plans to attend!

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