Broomball Night in America 01-24-2022

The 2022 opening night saw Monday Ham successfully rebrand itself by scoring a non-accidental goal in a 6-1 loss to Red Pine Distillery. Freshmen first-liners Liz Preszler, Kaitlyn Wanner, Katie Weikum, Jeremy Manstrom, and Syd Vicious Smith each made impressive season premieres against the rhubarb artisans, allowing single-digit goals for the first time in franswine history. Scoring for the Distillery Educators were Tay Tay Linder, rookie forward Phillip Oswald, Hailey Joyce-Stick, and NaDia de los Muertos Morneau. In other Monday night action, league expansion team Rhombus Rebels kicked off their inaugural season with a zero-goal performance against the 2021 third or fourth place champions Hub 69’s. The 69’ers lit the lamp repeatedly throughout the contest, cruising to an 8-0 halibut hamracking. Commuting team captain Jules Johnson said her team finished the game with zero nosebleeds, breaking a six game streak dating back the 2021 season. PREAT popped Gandelson for ten despite a first-career goal from Sportsracer Apple Slam Ferguson After key early goals from the Heated Husk Haters let open the floodgates, it was Mashed Potato Time for Jake Shadow of the Stockyards Miller. The sophomore forward netted four goals in guiding PREAT to a 1 and Zero start. And on Thursday night the Vilandre Brew Balls lived up to their name in an 11-2 pipe-laying over Half Brothers Underground. Sadly, Tyler Wilson did not go bar down. Week Two’s matchups have many veteran squads on upset alert while league underdogs are sure to take the ice hungry and fully-lubricated. Appetizers abound and the season is ripe, with no mosquitos to boot. You won’t want to miss it - Make plans to attend!